The first workout of the 2014 Open is announced tonight and I’m kind of dreading it. As anyone can tell from my posts last year at this time, the Open is an incredibly stressful time for me. The thing is, I put a ton of pressure on myself in every aspect of my life, but I spread myself so thin that it becomes impossible for me to meet those expectations. Right now I do not feel like I am at my peak physically. In the past month I’ve mostly focused on recovering from my back injury and getting back to where I was earlier this year. I haven’t gotten a muscle up yet. I haven’t even been watching what I eat. Frankly, there’s so much stress in my life professionally right now that I just haven’t had space in my head to worry about CrossFit. And that’s exactly why I’m not looking forward to the Open.
In CrossFit, there is always the possibility that you could have done a few more reps, so it’s almost impossible not to wonder if you could have pushed just a little bit harder. And in the CrossFit Open, a few reps can mean an enormous difference in the rankings. It’s easy to say be happy with whatever you did because it was the best you can do, but what if it wasn’t the best you could do? I am almost never 100% satisfied with my accomplishments, because I always think I can do better, push further, achieve more. Knowing myself, I just don’t think that I can realistically go into the Open experience with a laid-back, “who cares as long as it’s fun” attitude. But I also know that I haven’t prepared myself to excel in this competition. This is not a good combination.
Right now I’m just hoping that the workouts they pick this year will suit my strengths and not highlight my weaknesses too much. And I hope they go back to the basics a bit instead of trying to make crazier versions of past year Open WODs. Maybe, just maybe, the improvements I’ve made over the past year will be enough to help me to at least match my performance from last year. And don’t get me wrong, I am proud of my 2013 performance. I finished in the top 5% in the region and, if I remember correctly, I was in the top 25 in the state of Maryland. It’s just that I still think I could have done even better in a couple workouts if I’d approached them differently, trained better, or been more rested beforehand.
For better or worse, when the workout is announced in about 40 minutes, it’s going to change the way I think about this weekend. Hopefully it’ll be a fun one. Maybe it’ll be perfect for my strengths. Front squats and burpees perhaps?? I’ll keep my fingers crossed.